Why We Overreact in Love: The Somatic Truth About Wounded Souls, Relationship Triggers & Unprocessed Anger
“Of course he overreacted when you said that… he is a wounded soul.”
Those words struck me like lightning.
Not because they were harsh.
But because they were true.
Recently, I had a direct, honest conversation with someone. I didn’t yell. I didn’t blame. I didn’t attack.
I spoke clearly, simply, and respectfully: in my very Taurus, very Cat way.
And their overreaction came out of nowhere.
Not a disagreement.
Not discomfort.
But an emotional explosion that made zero sense for the moment we were in.
You know that feeling...the whiplash of someone reacting at Level 10 to something that wasn’t even at Level 2.
And in that moment, someone gently said to me,
“Love… of course he overreacted. He’s a wounded soul.”
That sentence stayed with me.
Because it revealed a truth we all know but rarely say out loud:
People aren’t reacting to the present moment. They’re reacting to their unprocessed past.
Not the seat left up.
Not the socks on the floor.
Not the tone.
Not even the comment.
It’s the echo of everything their body never got to release.
And today, I want to talk about exactly that...because it’s a core part of my work, my teachings, and this season’s Clearing series.
Why People Overreact: It’s Stored Trauma, Not Personality
When someone reacts bigger than the situation, it almost always means:
Their body is holding old anger
Their nervous system is still in defense mode
Something tiny ignited a past story
The wound that never healed is now in the driver’s seat
Research backs this up.
According to a large 2020 population-based study, 17.3% of adults report problematic, intense, or uncontrolled anger that interferes with their daily functioning (BMC Public Health, 2020).
And trauma research shows:
Adults with childhood trauma display significantly elevated anger reactivity
(Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica, 2021)Trauma is stored in the body — not the mind — which is why many people “understand” their patterns but can’t stop repeating them
(VA/DoD Clinical Practice Guidelines for PTSD)
This is why someone can be 30, 45, 59 years old…
and still reacting as if they’re defending the child version of themselves.
This is also why your anger, resentment, or emotional reactivity doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means your body is protecting you with old information.
Why THIS Shows Up Most in Romantic Relationships
Romantic partners are the closest mirrors we have.
They touch the places we’ve armored.
They press the bruises we pretend aren’t there.
They echo family patterns we swore we were done with.
And that’s why tiny things set off BIG reactions:
“Why didn’t you text me back?”
“Can you pick up after yourself?”
“I don’t feel seen right now.”
“That hurt my feelings.”
Suddenly, it’s not about today.
It’s about:
The partner who left
The partner who cheated
The partner who gaslit you
The partner who shut down
The partner who loved you inconsistently
Or the parent who modeled love as danger
This is why so many people say:
“I’m not mad about the socks.”
“I’m not mad about the dishes.”
“I’m not mad about the tone.”
“I’m mad about the story that still lives in my body.”
Why You React Even When You Don’t Want To
Let me know if this sounds like you:
You want a healthy relationship… but something still gets triggered
You want to forgive your past… but your body won’t let it go
You want to stop overreacting… but the anger feels immediate
You want to move on… but old partners still live in your chest, jaw, or stomach
Love, you’re not alone.
This is literally how the nervous system works.
Your body is wired to protect you; even from memories.
And anger isn’t the enemy.
It’s unexpressed anger that becomes chronic tension, shutdown, resentment, grief, or emotional numbness.
You’re not behind.
You’re human.
This Is Why I Created The Clearing
An 8-Part Somatic Series to Release Stored Anger, Resentment & Emotional Weight
Last week, in Session 1, we released anger around parents & upbringing; the root of so many wounds.
This Friday, we go into the heart of it:
Session 2: The Lover’s Flame
Clearing Resentment from Past or Current Partners
🗓 Friday, November 21, 2025
⏰ 7PM EST (Replay available)
💸 Pay What You Can
👉 https://catherinestoring.com/the-clearing
If you’re still:
carrying resentment from an ex
triggered by your current partner
reacting from old wounds
feeling anger you “thought” you were over
repeating the same relationship patterns
…this is your session.
You don’t have to carry this anymore.
Not into the holidays.
Not into the new year.
Not into your next relationship or your next chapter.
And Then We Complete the Journey In-Person…
with FIRE.
🔥 THE SACRED FIRE CEREMONY
December 30th, 2025 — 7PM EST
📍 The Nest, Woodstock NY
🎫 Tickets: https://www.eskffnest.com/events
This is where we burn, bury, and bless what our bodies are finally ready to release.
Under the winter sky.
In community.
With sound, breath, ritual, and sacred heat.
It is the perfect ending...not just to the series, but to the emotional weight of the entire year.
Your Body Remembers the Way Home
If you’ve been overreacting…
If your partner has been overreacting…
If you feel angry for reasons you “can’t explain”…
If you’re tired of feeling like love is landmines…
Love, none of this is random.
Your body is telling you the truth.
And together, we can clear what’s been living underneath the surface for years.
Your next relationship — or your current one — doesn’t have to be built on old wounds.
Let’s make space for something softer.
Something clearer.
Something actually yours.
🔥 Join Session 2 here: https://catherinestoring.com/the-clearing
🔥 Join the Fire Ceremony here: https://www.eskffnest.com/events
Your healing matters.
And I’m rooting for you every step of the way.
