Breaking Free from Money Struggles: How to Shift Your Mindset & Step into Financial Abundance

Have you ever felt like money is just… hard? Like no matter what you do, you’re stuck in a cycle of scarcity, undercharging, or feeling guilty about making money? If you’re a creative entrepreneur, healer, or heart-centered business owner, chances are, you’ve wrestled with money beliefs that don’t serve you.

In this episode of the Healed and Cash Flowing Podcast, host Cat sits down with Kris Driskill, an international opera singer turned transformational coach and business consultant. They dive deep into money mindset shifts, breaking generational financial programming, and how to charge your worth without guilt.

🎭 From Opera Singer to Business Coach: A Transformational Journey

Kris’s story is nothing short of fascinating. After spending 25 years as a professional opera singer, she transitioned into coaching and consulting in 2015. But the truth is, she had been helping others find alignment and purpose since 2007—long before she “officially” started.

But how does one go from the opera stage to empowering creative entrepreneurs? For Kris, it came down to self-discovery, breaking free from a rigid right/wrong mindset, and realizing that true success isn’t about fitting into a box—it’s about freedom.

She explains how the opera industry conditioned her to seek validation, perform perfectly, and constantly question her worth—a pattern that many entrepreneurs unknowingly carry into their businesses.

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever felt like you needed permission to charge more, be more, or do more… this episode is for you.

💰 The Hard Truth About Money Mindset

Kris grew up in industries (education and the arts) where money wasn’t expected to flow freely. She was told:

❌ "It’s not about the money."
❌ "You’ll never make money doing this."
❌ "Your talent is what matters—not your bank account."

While passion is important, these beliefs created a victim archetype—a mindset that normalizes financial struggle and makes abundance feel “off-limits.”

But here’s the truth:

👉 We are all born with the birthright to financially flourish.
👉 Poverty is a condition, not a destiny.
👉 Money is simply energy—it flows where it is allowed.

For Kris, shifting her money mindset wasn’t just about “thinking positively”—it required deep, inner work to recognize where these limiting beliefs came from and actively rewrite them.

🔑 Understanding Your Money Archetype

One of the most powerful tools Kris uses is Money Archetypes—a framework that helps you understand your personal money blueprint.

💡 Think of it like your zodiac sign, but for money!

Each person has:
✔ One primary money archetype
✔ Two secondary archetypes

Understanding these patterns helps reveal where you may be self-sabotaging with money and how to step into your full financial potential.

For example, many heart-centered entrepreneurs fall into the Nurturer Archetype—a beautiful, giving personality that can also lead to undervaluing services, over-giving, and financial burnout.

Ever felt resentful because you’ve given so much, but aren’t receiving back? That’s money misalignment.

Key takeaway: If you don’t know your money archetype, you could be unknowingly blocking your own abundance while working twice as hard as you need to.

⚡ Why You NEED to Charge Your Worth

Kris shares a major shift that changed everything:

🚨 “Don’t put your hand in someone else’s wallet.” 🚨

In other words: Stop assuming what people can or can’t afford.

She explains how she went from undervaluing her coaching services (despite having a PhD and decades of experience) to confidently charging what she’s worth—without guilt or fear.

What happened?
✅ The right clients started showing up.
✅ She stepped into financial alignment.
✅ She realized she wasn’t “taking” from others—she was offering them an opportunity.

Ask yourself: Are you undervaluing your work because of fear? If so, it’s time to shift.

🚀 Money Boundaries: The Key to Financial Freedom

One of the most powerful moments in this episode? The importance of setting money boundaries—especially with people you love.

Kris shares her personal experience of filing for bankruptcy after giving too much financially in a past relationship. She thought she was being kind, but in reality, she was:

🔹 Overextending herself
🔹 Not allowing the other person to take responsibility
🔹 Enabling bad financial habits

💡 Takeaway: If someone hasn’t changed their money habits, no amount of financial “help” will fix the problem.

Setting boundaries around money isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation.

The Power of Detachment & Allowing Money to Flow

Another game-changer? Letting go of the “grip” around money.

Kris explains that money doesn’t respond well to fear, scarcity, or control. If you’re constantly worried about it, you’re actually blocking it from flowing to you.

Instead, try this:
✨ Set your intention for financial abundance.
✨ Release the fear.
✨ Trust that it will come.

Because here’s the truth: Money is meant to be in motion—it’s energy. If you cling to it, you block it. If you flow with it, it grows.

💡 Want to Learn from Kris? Here’s How to Connect

Kristina Driskill is an international opera singer turned transformational coach and business consultant.

Her lighthearted yet deeply impactful approach, combined with her signature Conscious Reality Method™, has empowered creative entrepreneurs to enjoy the process of running their businesses with ease, fun, and flow since 2007. Kris’ work focused on self-sabotage is backed by the evidence-based research of Positive Intelligence®.

She is also certified in business coaching, money mindset coaching, and serves as a Gene Keys Guide, in addition to holding a Certification in Social Emotional Arts from UCLA’s Department of Integrative Medicine.

When not inspiring her clients’ transformations, she can be found communing with wild animals or being herded by her overly time-conscious Mini Aussie, Jasper.

🔗 Connect with Kris Driskill:

➡️ Website: https://www.krisdriskill.com

➡️ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gildedwithin

➡️ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/krisdriskill_official

➡️ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/kristinadriskill

💬 Your Turn!

Which part of this conversation hit home for you? Let us know in the comments!

📌 What’s ONE money belief you’re ready to let go of?

Let’s step into abundance—together. 🚀

Traduction

Hi, Kris. Welcome to the Healed and Cash Flow podcast show. How are you?

Hi, Cat. Thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure and an honor to be here, and I'm so excited to talk to you today. Oh, my God.

I can tell we're going to have a great conversation. For those that don't know you, can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

Yeah, absolutely. I'm an international opera singer turned transformational coach and certified business consultant. I sang opera professionally for 25 years, and I felt called to come into coaching and consulting. And so I made a really big transition in 2015, even though I had been doing that work really since 2007 and having people come to me and ask me about things that would help them be more in alignment and more on track, career advice, this stuff, ever since, like I said, all the way back to 2007. Now I'm working primarily with creative entrepreneurs and helping them to run their businesses with what I like to call ease, fun, and flow.

Oh, my God. That sounds amazing. I love what you said that you officially started 2015, but you were doing it since 2007. Isn't that the truth? How whatever we're called to do, we might have an official start date, but if we look back, we have been doing that work for a very long time. How does that transition from an international opera singer for 25 years? How do you close that chapter?

It was interesting because I always had... Well, while That was my talent from a very young age, and it was my desire to have that career ever since I was a kid. I always laughed because I always say, both my parents were scientists, and they can't figure out what went wrong. How did they get this random opera singer. No one in my family listened to that. That was just not even on anyone's radar. But I absolutely fell in love with it when I heard it myself and decided that's what I wanted to do. And that's what I did. And even as a child, young adult, when people would ask me, Oh, well, do you want to sing at the match? Or what are your desires? What are your dreams? And even from that age, I'd always said, My desire is to be happy, and I will I'll do this for as long as it makes me happy. I did. I had success with that, and I was good at it. But it also came with the development of a love-hate relationship with it. That really came from the fact that I put so much pressure on myself to be right and good and perfect, and the industry supported that.

It is a It's a very highly, rigorous, meticulous industry, and it's taught oftentimes in that right/wrong model. And by the way, most of the time, you're wrong. Like I said, I've been doing it since I was young, so I was always in this place of being curated by whether or not it was good, why whether or not it was, quote, unquote, right. Of course, in a business where right or wrong is completely subjective, there's no scorecard that says, You do these things and it's right, and you do these things and it's wrong. It's all someone's opinion. You could do the best job you could possibly do and still have someone hate it. That's just the world of art. It's just part of the business, and there's a blessing and a curse to that. It means that you really can't put your focus on making other people like you or approve of you or having that as your focus, it's an elusive search if that's where the focus was. I always had that going back and forth for a long time, and it really wasn't until I did my doctorate and did a dissertation in performance anxiety and how the brain works.

I did it from the perspective of singing and performers, but this really could be likened to anyone, particularly somebody doing public speaking or being out in front of people because it's the same thing. You're using your voice. It's very similar. When I started doing that, I really started discovering something deeper besides just that right/wrong model and really looking at how we react and getting very curious behind the psychology of it. I really ended up falling in love with teaching and imparting thoughts and advice and watching someone else be able to take that information and do something with it. I tell you what, that just brought me more joy than doing it myself ever did. I just naturally transitioned into wanting to do that work more than anything else. I taught from a perspective of mistakes being natural and normal and nothing more than data. I started noticing that as students were coming to me through school for voice, they were noticing that that feeling that I had growing up through that educational system of coming in and needing to deliver, coming in and need to be right, coming in and need to hide all of your problems that you're having because that's not what you're here to do, that those constrictions affect the voice so obviously.

That I provided an environment, or at least attempted to provide an environment to where I said, You are loved and accepted for who you are and what you are at this very moment, no matter what that is. Let's see if we can make some sound. By taking that constriction and that pressure away, there was a freedom to that. Of course, it automatically translated to the voice. Then the next thing I knew, people were starting to ask me questions about other parts of life. Well, what If we're having so much success opening up and freeing the voice, well, what about this other restriction that I'm having? What about this other problem that I'm having? That really inspired me to look at a broader picture and feel called to serve in a way that would provide a bigger ripple effect. I made the decision to leave that world of academia and teaching in that in a particular way and to start coaching and consulting full-time. And I've been doing it ever since.

That's amazing. It's incredible how you find to discover how you make yourself help yourself, discover a way to help others. And I love that you have the experience. You know exactly how they were feeling because you have been feeling like that for a very long time. That's incredible. So how do you go from teaching now before asking your questions? How do you come up How did you start it, landed in what you call yourself the money archetypes? Yeah, I did.

Coming from two backgrounds that are historically known for not being financially lucrative, education and the arts. Coming from those backgrounds, I grew up being conditioned by a system that said, Oh, your talent is what's most important. It's not about the money. You'll never make money doing this. And these kinds of beliefs. And while I do subscribe to the belief that it's not about the money, to use that as an excuse to not make money, I think, is something that needs attention. And so there was a lot of that victim archetype of, Well, that's just the way it is. We can't make a lot of money, so we need to really pour it into the love of the art. It's about the love of the art. I was in that same system, but I always felt like there was... You look out there and you're like, Okay, well, wait a minute. Not everybody's in this system. There's some people doing really well out here. I knew that there were other possibilities. I got curious about that, but I was still very much much into the conditioning of what the educational system, the industry, everybody in it, the teachers, your colleagues, and everyone had come to the consensus of, which is that this is a financially poor field.

I had that as part of my conditioning. I say conditioning because I know now, speaking from the truth of who I am, and I think the truth of who we all are, that we are all born with the birthright to financially flourish. No one is born into a future of poverty. You may be born into poverty, but that does not dictate anything for you moving forward. So I realized that I had been conditioned to believe through my own experiences and through the experiences and teachings of others that this was it. This was all you could have. So when I transitioned into coaching and into consulting, I had very much the same mindset. It's a dollar-a-each-a-hour system is what these kinds of art and teaching things typically come from. What we've taught people as artists and as creatives is that we're only worth X amount or that we're worth... It's a minute system. You're counting the minute instead of a value-based system. It was hard for me at first to think about making a larger amount of money. It was something that I had never... It hadn't been in my world. I hadn't conceived of it.

So I started raising my prices ever so... I mean, I'm a person with a doctorate over here and decades of experience and was just scared to death to charge anything out of, quote, unquote, rain of what I had come to know as acceptable. And even at the price that I was at, some other people would judge that as too much. So when I moved and left the area I was in Southern California, moved up to Northern California, and I ended up buying a house up here, there were many issues with the house that were unbeknownst to me when I bought it. And there was, unfortunately, some deception at play by the seller. And there were some huge things that had to be fixed. I I had never written a $10,000 check before. I had never had those kinds of experiences. I noticed that it just squeezed my heart as if my life was on the line. Between not having comfort spending money, not having comfort spending money on myself, and also having the discomfort comfort of imposing that anybody else pay more, I just realized my own mindset around money needed some work. I set off to learn about that, to see where I was in that process.

It was so beneficial to me to understand the archetypes that were present in me and in the money mindset program that I did and the work that I do, we all have three. There's one that's a primary archetype and two secondary ones, because one archetype, really, in any system that you use, you'll notice in archetypal systems, if you take one of those quizzeses online or something, they give you the one, you're a this. Even Zodiac, you're a Leo. I'm a Leo. You're just a this. Surprise, I know. You're a this. But when you really get into the system, you realize that's not nearly enough information. There's aspects beyond that that help us to understand the depth and complexity of who we are as people. So one is never enough. And it really showed me why I was having so much of this internal struggle with myself because part of me wanted to go for it and try things and take risks, and the other part of me thought that was nuts. And there's no way I should do that. And the other part of me felt horrified to even raise my rates $10. I started to realize through that work and getting more into the industry that I was in a different field.

I was not even on the playing level of what was going on. I started to realize that if I'd stayed at that place, that the resentment that people normally feel or start to feel when they give and give and give and give and do not receive in return in some way that matches their value. I'm not saying all value is monetary. It's not. But it better match in some way so that you can continue to flourish. Otherwise, if you have nurture archetype or you're a heart-centered person or a giver in that way, which so many creative entrepreneurs are, so many people are, that there's such a giving and there's no thinking about the fact that that runs out eventually unless- Or it should. It should run out. Yeah. Unless you are refilled. And when you're constantly looking out there for something to refill you, so expecting someone to recognize how wonderful you are, recognize your talent, recognize your value, and just give it to you, as opposed to you doing that for yourself, that eventually, that well is going to run dry, and you're going to become your own charity, as opposed to... It's one of the most wonderful things that a business coach ever said to me that I heard was, Don't confuse your business with your charity.

There's nothing wrong with charity. It's wonderful. But if you confuse your business with it, then eventually you're going to be the charity because there's going to be nothing left. It was just a wonderful wake-up call that, Hey, you need to put on your courage pants and step into your value and start to offer that and offer people the opportunity to come with you. I love that phrase, As I rise up, others rise up with me. I had been used to as so many healers, creatives, spiritual entrepreneurs, so often, let me bring myself down to meet you. But really, that's just showing that person and confirming Coming to that person, Hey, staying here and not rising up is the direction we're going in. I think it's really the opposite of what everybody wants. We all want to grow. We all want to rise up and see Stepping into that was absolutely imperative in order for me to serve as an example of what I wanted to see in everybody else. I couldn't tell them, I want to see you flourish financially and not do it myself. I've It's always been a, Okay, I'll do it first.

And then if you want to come with me, you can absolutely come with me.

Powerful. Oh, my God. You said so many awesome stuff. I was taking notes, but I was also trying to pay attention because it was so good as someone that has been there and had to change because, as you know, I think we have an order or people can smell it or not or see it, that when you're a giver, people that are takers will come. It's inevitable. They will come in like, She or he is a giver, and I could just take. And if you don't put those parameters in place, people will run you dry and then wonder why you're mad or why you're not giving anymore. It's like, you're taking everything, everything that I had, and then so. What happened after you did this amazing work and realized, Listen, I have a PhD. I have all this experience. I get to charge whatever I want. What happened in your business and what happened in how you saw yourself?

Well, it really shifted It shifted the way that I already knew. I knew for myself, I know I have this talent. I know I have this value to offer. I know I have an innate ability to tap into my intuition, to serve as a conduit, to give people their words when they don't have them. I don't take credit for that. It's just a gift that I have. I knew I had that ability, and I knew it was valuable. Really, what I was doing was just saying, Okay, I'm ready to allow the financial side of this to align with what I already know to be true. When I did that, I was scared to death because, like I said, I came from a world where, who does that? But of course, it was completely natural in the executive world, the corporate world, the public-speaking world, the entrepreneurial world, perfectly normal. But once I did that, like I said, I was so scared that I was going to lose everyone. I was going to have to start all over because, Hey, I work with creatives. Hey, I work with artists. Who's going to be able to do this?

Another thing that was said to me that I've always held on to was, don't put your hand in somebody else's wallet. That's awfully assumptive to say, Oh, well, you wouldn't... How would you like it if I said to I have the exact thing that you need that's going to help you to create a life and a world that you want. But you know what? I'm not going to tell you about it because I don't think you can afford it. Have a good day. And that's what I realized, that not saying, Hey, this is what I'm doing. And if you want to come with me, I would love to bring you with me. If not, I totally understand. I have no ego in it. I want to have the right people at the right time in the right place. And when I stepped into that, and the biggest The most helpful part of that was detaching myself from the outcome. So from the moment I started that, even though I was scared, I knew that I was scared because of my old beliefs, not because that was my truth. I knew that what I wanted was not to, quote, unquote, get a client.

What I wanted was to be of service to the right person when it was in alignment for them and for me. So I realized that in order to do that, I was going to have to step into offering the opportunity without having any attachment whatsoever to whether someone said yes or no. And I've been like that since the beginning, and that's the way I feel today. It's an integrity for who I am. I don't want to work with someone if it's not an alignment for them and me. I don't. That's not what I'm here for. So if somebody says yes, and I feel like it's a good match and it's a good alignment, wonderful. We're going to have a great time. And if it's a no, and if it's coming from their truth, if it's coming from fear, then I want to discuss that with them and see if that's actually what they want to buy into. Do you want to buy into your fear? Do you want to buy into your truth? If you're just saying no because you're buying into your fear, let's talk about that. And if it's still that's the case, if that's where you're at, then that's okay.

That means you need more time to figure out what you're ready to step into. You're on your timeline, not mine. But if it's a yes, because we realize, oh, my gosh, I'm just scared, which I always was. That's how I always felt, a Especially investing in myself. I was so scared to invest in myself because I grew up in a household that was just very financially conservative. When you found the good deal and you didn't splurge on things, you were very responsible. I took that to heart. I was the person who would go to thrift stores to find my clothes or anything because I was so excited that I could get a good deal as opposed to... My brother was just the opposite. If we were given allowance as kids for school clothes or something, I would get as many as many pieces as I could, find as many the best deals that I could. My brother would get two or three things, but they would all be of exceptional quality. It was so interesting to see how There's no right or wrong to that. There's not one that's bad and one that's good or one that's better or not.

It's just you could see the difference in what was important to us and how we reacted, our plan based on that. So to me, it's really about learning about who you are, learning about the way that you do things, really checking in with whether or not that's your truth. And what I find is that nine times out of 10, it's not, at least not to begin with.

That's so good. I just want to stop there for a second and let that land for people listening or watching. It's looking at that, and I was doing this for lunch for the first time on Sunday, and it was incredible. And one of the things that I said while I was in there is that I was letting go to current and generational programming that no longer serve me. And we don't realize that programming is so many things that we don't even realize. What you just said is this is mine. This is true to me. This is my grandmother's thinking. This is my mom's thinking. Is this something that is no longer true. When you were in your transformation, you were passive. Did you ever find yourself passive Lasting from all behavior that was not even... For all the information that was no longer true. If you were undercharging and now you're charging and you don't have enough money, but now you have enough money, and your mind goes like, Oh, we don't have the money. And you're like, Wait a minute, that's not true. I have it.

100 %. And you made such a good point, Kat. And that's that the amount of money you have has nothing to do with how you feel about money. We know people who have very little who feel like the richest people in the world. And we know people who have millions who are so stuck in scarcity. They feel like they're always going to lose it, and they're constantly in stress from that place. So the amount is actually insignificant. It really has to do with what your belief system is and your conscious awareness, because as you mentioned, there's also unconscious beliefs. If we are finding we are out of alignment or having conflict, especially internal conflict, about money in some way, and we don't know why, then that somewhere in there is an unconscious belief that we probably developed as a child. We don't even remember. Somebody said something like, we think money grows on trees, or one of these things that somebody said as we are a child, or we saw parents arguing about money, or we saw mom crying because something happened with bills, or dad being frustrated, or whatever it is that people experienced.

Then as a little four-year-old, automatically just not even saying a word and imprinting that message of, Oh, money must be scary. Oh, money causes problems. And these things that become part of us without us even knowing it, we have to go back and do that work. We have to start getting real curious about where that conflict, where that discord, where that discomfort comes from. Because when we are actually in our truth, there's no discomfort about money. Money is a wonderful thing. And if anyone listening is hearing that and thinking, I don't know about that, that will tell you right there that there's something in there that's causing that judgment about money, that money somehow could be good or bad, which it's not. To me, money is just another form of energy, and it flows. It either flows or it doesn't. Correct.

I was just going to say. It flows, if we let it, because I notice when I want something and I don't have any preconceived notions about it, I just want it and I release it. I notice that I get it so quickly because I'm not blocking it, because I'm just wanting it and I let it go. And I think it relates probably, you can recognize how long, relates to money. When you feel now it to come, you're like, okay, I need or I desire, probably that's a better word, this amount for X, Y, and Z reasons. If you're not stressed about it, if you're not just conflicted about it, it's going to come because you just cold it.

Stress, constriction, fear-based energy of other kind is a block. It creates block. Money, like I said, is like energy, and energy loves flow. Energy likes to flow. And when you constrict it, then it's not free to do what it wants. I think where a lot of people get stuck is they think, I want money to come to me, but also, I don't want to spend any money. I don't want any money going out. I'm not going to do anything with money. I'm so afraid of losing money. And you can't have it that way. You just said it's a one-way street. And it's never. Energy is never a one-way street. So you have to be okay with release. And of course, we want to be responsible with it. I'm not saying we're being irresponsible by letting money go. But you can't be complaining about bills. You can't be saying money's evil. You can't be saying money ruins people's lives. I hate money. I wish I didn't have to deal with my money. I don't even want to look at my bank account. You can't be saying stuff like that and also saying, Oh, I wish I had money.

I wish money would come to me. Oh, I just wish I could... It doesn't work that way. You have to make a relationship with it and poor love love into it if you want to receive love from it. You can't. I mean, think about any person you have a relationship with. If you're like, I'm going to treat you like trash, but I would like you to love me, that probably is not a relationship that would go very well. So it's the same exact thing with anything. If everything's energy, I mean, look at science, it is. We're all made up of particles, every single thing. Like me and this cup are exchanging It's all energy. So if that's the case, you can't treat something like money different than you would any other relationship and expect it to go well.

So true. So we have more than likely a lot of people watching and listening that are creative entrepreneurs, that are spiritual entrepreneurs, that have amazing gifts and talents. And at first, you mentioned that there are three archetypes. One is a primary, two are secondaries. Do you have something, a way of explaining that that is not too complicated for anybody that could just grasp the concept?

Sure, absolutely. You can think about money archetypes, like I said, any archetype system, a system that most people are at least aware of, even if they don't know the information, is something like our Zodiac system. If you know that you're a Cancer or a Leo, or a Taurus or an Aries, you have this information about your archetype. An archetype is nothing more than something that's universally described that everyone would understand. We think about mother is an archetype. Mother has certain qualities, being protective, teaching, nurturing, caring, disciplining. There's all these these qualities of mother. Now, we all also know that we can have good qualities or high-frequency qualities of mother, love, unconditional love, caring, nurturing, sharing, teaching, lifting up, providing these kinds of things. We can also have lower frequency qualities of mother, overbearing, judgmental, jealous, ridiculing, criticizing, cold, punishing, these kinds of things. So mother is not something you can qualify as bad or good. Every mother has the ability to have good qualities, good energy, high frequency energy qualities, and also low frequency energy or qualities Sometimes, because we're human, it goes back and forth sometimes. Money archetypes are the exact same way. In the system I use, there are eight total.

I have an assessment that people take. Then based on the assessment, which is really just taking people through belief statements and how much they resonate with those belief statements, it returns the top archetypes that somebody would resonate with, which would represent them. An example of this is something like I spoke of earlier, nurtureer, which comes up a lot for people who care. People are heart-centered people. Oftentimes, people who have that desire to serve, they're carrying people gravitation rotate towards these kinds of creative careers, healing careers, spiritual entrepreneurship, and so forth. So there's this desire to give, this desire to be of service. In the high frequency of that, in the gifts of that archetype of nurtureer, it's full of generosity. It's full of service, full of giving. On the lower frequency side, it becomes martyrdom. It becomes giving Getting yourself away to the point of your own detriment. It becomes that frustration and bitterness from expecting someone else to nurture you in return and then not getting it a lot of times. So nurture in Itself, a wonderful, wonderful. They're all wonderful archetypes. There's no such thing as a bad or good archetype. But they all have these higher and lower energy centers for them.

Our goal is to learn about what that entails and then to see how on the lower side, it could bring us into this disempowerment with money and how we can seek to utilize the higher side of that archetype to empower us to live our truth and to financially flourish. When you start putting them all together, like I said, if you have three and you're working with those, you start to see where you would have conflict, where you would reinforce certain ideas for yourself, and how you can truly build a powerful belief system, which is going to be the foundation of any financial manifestation, any financial flourishing is going to be your belief system. Like I said, you can't want to have money come to you, but secretly believe that you're not worth it, secretly believe that you don't deserve it, that it's not possible for you, others maybe, but not you. So that is some of the work that we end up We're doing through that. We use the archetypes as a very... I love them because it's a very simple way to get it. Here's some information you can hold on to while we're also starting to work through, Hey, what needs to be untangled in you specifically?

That gives us an intro to that.

Yeah. It's like looking under the hood. You cannot start fixing things if you don't know what needs fixing or updating. It's like, Let's see what we're working with and let's work on that. I love that. Somebody comes to you and it does Is that something that you give people that can get access to this assessment?

Yeah. People can do that. When we do one-on-one work, I always have everybody do the money archetypes assessment. Then I have different levels of introduction to that. Just depending on where someone's at. It's my belief that if someone wants to gain knowledge and they're at a certain place in in their life that I want to give them something for where they're at. And it may not be doing a big coaching program, or maybe they're at that point and they do want to do something. They're ready. They've been ready. And they just realize I'm ready to jump into that. So I see it as layers in honoring, if you will, of where someone is at so that there's an opportunity regardless If you are just looking right now and you don't have money to invest in yourself, not saying you don't, but actually do. If you truly don't, there are books to read, there are guides to get, there are people to talk to, there are ways to bring that information to yourself. If you're ready to invest in yourself, but there's not much, okay, so we want to look at maybe get your archetypes done and learn about them, and that's enough.

Now you go study, or maybe now, I'm ready for this next I want to work with somebody on that. There's no limitation unless you say so. There's always something. I provide different levels like that, but even when that's not provided, it exists. You just have to look for it instead of going into a type of belief that says, Well, I don't have a lot of money, so I can't do that, or, Well, that's the way for some people. Those are those exact same beliefs that are keeping us from being able to flourish, not just financially, but in all aspects of our life, because really, how you do money is how you do everything.

Anything. Yeah, that's so true. I have this feeling that people that are listening or watching right now are probably getting really hopeful because maybe they thought, This is something that I'm going to die with. This is something that a way of thinking. But I am hearing that this is something that you can work on, something that you are specializing in, and that you were able to overcome yourself, which is incredible. And the fact that you transitioned to a field that you were very much personally familiar with, and now you're helping people on the other side of it. It's so amazing and so exciting. So happy for you because it must be so rewarding to see people's wheels start to change after they're working with you.

It is my joy. It's my absolute joy. And I look back at my life, and I used to be a person who said, I can't believe I used to say this. I feel so sorry for this of myself. But I used to say, there's not very many things that bring me joy. I don't use the word joy to describe very many things when I would feel joy all of a sudden. And I look back at that and I'm so grateful for the work that I have done on myself to bring me to the point where it's very difficult for me to find a moment in a day that isn't filled with joy. I live in that space now, and From what you were saying a second ago about going on my own journey, I'll give you more juice than that. Before I was in that particular position, I was such a nurtureer and such a giver and a provider that I actually had to file for bankruptcy because I had given my ex-husband's permission to use my bank account, my credit cards, my credit, because they didn't have any. So I thought, Oh, well, here comes the savior.

Let me come on in and save the day for this wonderful person. Yeah, exactly. What I realized now, looking back to that, while that was done with heart and good intention, what it really was was ego. What it really was was feeling like I had more value and worth because I could do something for someone else that they couldn't do for themselves. But what it really ended up doing is putting us both in a bad position. Because guess what? At the end of the day, when their habits hadn't changed and mine had run out, guess who was stuck with the bankruptcy? Me, not them. Me. So it taught me that at the end of the day, the only person you're accountable to is yourself. And if you choose to be in a relationship with someone else who has not figured out financial responsibility, then your job is to encourage them to do that work, not to step in and do it for them. Because like I said, then you also become part of that. It's unfortunate

You just helped a lot of people right now when you just said, If their patterns have not changed, if their habits have not changed, if they're still in the process, I'm going to love you from all the way over here while you work on that.

I think people get caught up. They get caught up in two different sides. I like this triangle of energy. On this lower plane of energy, this lower frequency energy, we've got two different ways that we can interact with people. We've got repressive, which is what I was. Give everything away, take care of everything, be the end all, be all for the person, even at your own sacrifice. On this other side down here, we have a reactive. I'm not going to be in a relationship with someone like that. You need to be this, this, this, this, and this. And fully putting this rigid set of expectations on a person, even if it's an amazing person, A lot of us, sign me up for being an amazing person who was not in a great situation. And then the third, in this higher part of our triangle, this higher frequency part is responsive. So Repressive, reactive, and responsive, if we respond, we have a way of observing and appreciating and having compassion, empathy without taking on the energy of the other person for ourselves. Somebody else's financial responsibilities, financial beliefs, financial behaviors are something that we can observe, see without judgment, but also without taking that blanket, Oh, well, I have love for you, so now all your problems are mind and thinking that somehow you should now be responsible for that

I mean, money boundaries are your friends, especially with people you love.

Absolutely. I remember a friend a long time ago, I was in a situation. I had my cell phone plan with somebody else that was forever running off the plan. It was like a family plan. They used up 90 %. There were three people on the plan. She used up 90 % of the plan, and it's a terrible deal. And it belongs to me, the bill got wronged up, and then we got shut down, and I needed my phone. So I asked a friend to help me for four days. I'm like, I'm going to... I did pay it quickly. And she said something to me that was so helpful. She's like, I would love to help you. What is the date that you will give me the money back? And I was immediately impressed. I'm like, oh, my God, I have never done this before. I have I had to money before, but I never had that boundary of I would love to when it's the date that I will get this money back. And this happened over 10 years ago, but I never forgot it because it was so generous and so kind for her to give me that, to give me that lesson.

I think, like you said, money boundaries, especially for people that you love, will avoid a lot of headaches and a lot of pain down the line because you're looking out for them as much as they're looking out for you as well.

That's right. Like you said, like we were talking about how you do money is how you do everything. If you don't have boundaries around money, then you probably don't have boundaries around the way you'd like to be treated. You don't have boundaries around what's acceptable and not acceptable into your environment. Again, you start to notice this, like you mentioned with the family. A lot of this stuff happens like, Well, we know she's doing that, but nobody says anything. It causes such a conflict and a divide when it never had to be that way in the first place. If we had set up, like your friend did for you, these are the expectations. I'm going to establish expectations for you, and I expect you to honor them. It makes it so much more easy for people to understand where they're at. It creates discipline in a way. Discipline is an interesting word because a lot of people don't like it. They think that it is meant as a punishment. Really, if you think about it, the reason that we put discipline in place is for safety. A child is disciplined when they run out in the street or if they don't listen, because doing these kinds of things that could cause them harm, they need to understand that.

Discipline really isn't intended. Of course, there are extremes to this, but as a general rule, Discipline really equals love and safety. So when we are being disciplined with our money, and not tight, disciplined, not constricted, disciplined than what we are showing to that relationship, whether it's money or a person, a spouse, a child, a friend, whoever is a coworker, what we're doing is saying, I love and respect respect you enough to set a boundary.

Yes, for sure. And that can be very hard for creators and givers to say no, but that can be the most loving thing you can do for somebody else is to say, I love you, and I'm still saying no.

Well, and what you mentioned also that's so important for people to realize in that perspective is that it's not your job to try to make people have a certain experience. So when you say no, another person gets to have their own experience as to what that means to them. If they go, Okay, then that's their experience. If they get mad and call you names. That has nothing to do with you. Allow them to have their own experience. You don't need to be responsible for that. And I realized for myself how often I was either trying to curate someone's experience or trying to do things with them or for them. What I realized was how enabling that was. I was not allowing them because I cared, but it was what I call misguided care, because through my care, I was doing things for them and enabling them to not learn how to do it themselves or to rely on me, neither of which are healthy in a sustainable way. I'm not talking about every once in a while type things. Obviously, there's compromise and give and take. But I'm talking about as a general rule, when you're constantly stepping in to, quote, unquote, save the day, show someone how to do something, do it better because you think your way is faster or better.

Then what you're doing is robbing that person of their own experience just because you don't want to watch them struggle. Sometimes we need that struggle. We need to struggle through that. So your only job is to say, Hey, I notice. I see or I notice. I learned this from my social emotional arts certification, which I found to be so helpful in working with people, especially in relationships that are close to us, using I see, I notice, to simply observe. I notice you seem a little frustrated. You're frustrated. I can't tell you how you feel. I can just tell you what I see. I see or I notice that you seem a little frustrated. Would you like some help? Instead of, Here, let me help you. Here, let me do that for you. Oh, here, there's an easier way to do that. Would you like some help so that the person has the opportunity to, A, learn to ask for help, or B, say no, thank you and continue to struggle because they want to figure it out by themselves. It's so funny.

I remember years ago when I first gave my daughter the chore of doing the dishes, that was her job, She was very angry, and she was very frustrated. And she says, I don't want to do the dishes. And I said, Honey, I don't know where I got this with done, but it was genius. It worked like a charm. I said, Honey, you don't have to want to do the dishes. You just have to do them. And I saw this light on her eyes. I don't know if she thought I needed her to be happy doing the dishes. I didn't. As long as the dishes got done, I was happy as a clam. So I could see there were no more complaints. She probably had a tight face something. I'm like, You get to be mad about it. I just did my dishes wash. So I think the more we allow people to live their consequences and have their temper tantrum, because in reality, they were expecting a different reaction and you said no, it is valid for them to be upset. It is valid for them to have wanted something different. Absolutely.

It's okay. This is so challenging for so many heart-centered people, for nurturers. It's so challenging to understand sometimes. It's okay for other people to express negative emotions. It's okay for them to have their own experience. You don't need to try to make them better or try to make them have a certain experience. Let them live. Let them have that for themselves. And it's so empowering to release yourself of that responsibility, one that was never to take in the first place.

For sure.

Oh, my God.

I can't believe it.

What you were saying with your daughter, there's these steps, right? It gets to the point where you start to realize, and this is why I do so much in my coaching, is to Help people understand that having an emotion initially is natural. No matter what the emotion is, it's natural. We don't want to shut ourselves off to any emotion. You want to allow yourself to to experience humanity as it was intended to be experienced. But once you have experienced that initial part of that emotion, now it becomes a choice. And you can consciously choose to stay in that emotion, like anger, or you could consciously choose to redirect that in another way. And if you are consciously choosing, even if you don't realize you're doing it, if you are consciously, even by default, choosing to stay in a negative emotion, that's self-sabotage. Gosh. You're creating that world for yourself, and you can choose to leave it anytime you want.

That's so good. Oh, my God. You just freeze so many people right now, and I cannot believe the time has gone by so fast. I'm going to have to rebut you again because we just had so many moments, so many nuggets that I was able to write down and appreciate from our conversation. So is there a way that people can enjoy more of this.

Yeah, sure. People are It's awesome to connect with me online. You can find more about the work that I do with money mindset and self-sabotage and transformational work over on my website. It's chrisdriskill. Com. Kat will have it in the show notes because I know the spelling is a little unique. Then I'm on Instagram under chrisdriskill_official and on Facebook under my business's name, which is Gilded Within. That name really comes from my belief that the work that we have to do in order to flourish in the world comes from the inside first. If we create that gilding within us, then the outside has the opportunity to match that. It's backwards from what the world teaches us, that we should go out there and grab all the things that we can so that we could feel good within. But we know for a fact that that doesn't work and that that's not sustainable. That joy pleasure or fulfillment is very fleeting. However, if we do it for ourselves from ourselves, then what we're putting out is going to start being reflected in our world automatically.

Oh, my God. So good. And I think you have to prepare something special for our audience.

Yeah, I do. I have a special little free guide that you guys can download called Break Free from Money Fear Now. Money fear is That's really what holds us back from money. So if we can release ourselves from the fear of it, then we can start to open that flow back up. I will give you the link to that, and you guys can go over to the website and download that for absolutely free. Then if you get interested in money, archetype work, if you want to learn your archetypes and do some of that work with me, there's something in that at the end of that guide that gives you some options, and you're welcome to contact me and choose one of those and step into your own power for yourself. That's what I realized is that any of the work I did was not an investment in the work. It was an investment in myself. So whatever level you're at, that's what I will leave you with is that investing in yourself is the best investment you could ever make.

For sure. I'm so excited. So we'll make sure to add all these links on the blog post so people that are watching or listening can go and run to break free from Money Fear Now. I love the title. That was amazing. Then where are you hanging out the most? You're hanging out the most on Instagram or Facebook?

It's funny that you're saying this. I I'm in a place right now. People can find me on either one. I'm definitely on both of them all the time. But I'm actually starting to make little shorts that will go along with the saboteurs that I I've created, these saboteur characters that I've created that show us how we self-sabotage. And those will probably be on Instagram or TikTok. I haven't started TikTok at this point, But we don't even know if it's going to be there long enough.

Maybe. We're all waiting with baited rest.

We don't know. Well, yeah. If you want to see the actual characters, you can go see them on my website. You can see the stills of them and see the descriptions of them. They're pretty funny because I I see this work. I mean, self-sabotage work, healing work, money work is already serious enough. We don't need to put more seriousness or more pressure or more heaviness or weightiness on this. I really see this as something we can bring lightness to, not give ourselves such a hard time, have fun with it and realize that it's just part of being human and that it's okay.

It is so okay. Oh, my God. It has been such a pleasure to be with you today and to learn more about how you help people like us, people that are helpers and givers in making it easier for them to be abundant also in finances. So thank you so much for doing the work that you're doing

My absolute pleasure. It's a joy, like I said, a joy and absolute honor to be here. You're amazing. And I'm so happy to share time with you. And I believe this flourishing is for all of us.

Yes, it is. It's been a pleasure having you here. Thank you so much. There you have it, guys. This has been such a beautiful conversation, and it's so timely for the time of year, where you don't have to change who you are. You don't have to stop being the amazing giver and lover that you are. You can set boundaries. I know sometimes people think that that's the big word, but boundaries are beautiful, especially when it comes to your finances, especially when it comes to your resources have been given to you for a reason. And now you have so many tips and tricks that you can use. Make sure that you visit the blog post where you get all the information from Chris so you can get all these amazing goodies so you can have that abundant life that you have been wanting. Please know that I love you, that I'm rooting for you, and I'm going to see you super, duper soon.