Are you ready to uncover what’s holding you back and step into your true potential? In this episode of the Healed and Cash Flowing Podcast, we sit down with Masha Zolotarsky, a transformative healer, coach, and facilitator, to explore her inspiring journey of healing, growth, and purpose.

From Graphic Design to Healing Hearts

Masha shares how she spent 20 years as a graphic designer in New York City before experiencing a life-changing spiritual awakening in 2018. A heartbreak served as a catalyst, propelling her to delve into self-discovery and healing. She immersed herself in modalities like shamanic reiki, somatic healing, and family constellations, ultimately uncovering her true calling: helping others heal and live soul-aligned lives.

The Power of Family Constellations

One of the highlights of this episode is Masha’s explanation of family constellations, a phenomenological and holistic healing modality. This practice addresses unresolved trauma in family and ancestral lineages, uncovering hidden dynamics that affect our lives today. Masha explains how this transformative work helps people heal generations forward and back, creating ripples of change.

Healing in Community

Masha’s passion for bringing people together is evident in her cacao ceremonies, retreats, and group workshops. She emphasizes that true healing often happens in community, where individuals can support and inspire each other. Her upcoming retreat, Constellations For Your Heart, promises a deeply intimate and transformative experience, combining cacao ceremonies and family constellation work.

Embracing Your Path

Through her journey, Masha demonstrates the importance of listening to intuition, embracing change, and stepping into one’s purpose. Whether it was traveling to Costa Rica for spiritual growth, learning new healing modalities, or moving to upstate New York, Masha’s story is a testament to the power of trusting the process.

In this episode, listeners will gain:

• Insight into the healing power of somatic and ancestral work.

• Encouragement to pursue their unique path, even when it requires stepping out of their comfort zone.

• Inspiration to embrace a holistic approach to personal and professional growth.

Don’t miss this heartfelt conversation filled with wisdom, vulnerability, and actionable insights. As Masha reminds us, healing ourselves is the first step toward helping others and living a life of true alignment.

Take a Step Towards Healing Today

Whether you’re navigating a career transition, seeking to heal past wounds, or simply looking for inspiration, this episode will leave you feeling empowered and ready to take the next step. Tune in now and start your journey toward healing and cash flow!

Meet Masha Zolotarsky

Masha Zolotarsky is an intuitive Soul Purpose & Embodiment Coach based in Catskill, NY. After spending two decades in New York City as a successful graphic designer, a heartbreak led her to an unexpected spiritual awakening and a profound life transformation. She is now devoted to empowering others to overcome barriers, embody their truth, and step into alignment with their bigger purpose in the world.

Masha is trained in Focalizing (a somatic healing modality), Family Constellations, Keith’s Cacao, and Internal Family Systems (IFS) and is a certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach through the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Since 2022, she has assisted and co-taught The Focalizing Practitioner Training with The Focalizing Institute.

With a deep commitment to creating safe spaces for healing, Masha weaves together her learnings of shamanism, energy work, embodiment practices, Human Design, astrology, and Family Constellations to support her clients and ceremonies. Her passion lies in bringing people together, and sharing the transformative magic of Cacao and Family Constellations through her workshops and gatherings.

Connect with Masha at these upcoming events:

Constellations For Your Heart: 
A Cacao & Family Constellations Weekend Retreat

Friday, March 14 – Sunday March 16

River Song Cottage | Saugerties, NY

This retreat is for heart-centered folks wanting to explore the hidden dynamics shaping their lives, release inherited patterns, and open their hearts to the magic of transformation while being held in a safe and nurturing space. Spaces are limited to ensure an intimate & personalized experience.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/constellations-for-your-heart-a-cacao-family-constellations-retreat-tickets-1114011581629

The Focalizing Practitioner Training (Spring cohort starts March 25th)

A practical, body-based modality for coaches, therapists and wellness practitioners to help others heal from trauma, connect to one's inner wisdom, and live with greater purpose.

https://www.theinstitute.org/the-practitioner-course

Sign up for Masha's newsletter: Sign up for soulful insights, embodiment practices, and astrological wisdom to help you navigate transformation with clarity and trust. Think of it as a little spark of magic on your journey of growth, purpose, and embodiment. https://freemasha.myflodesk.com/dfa4eqk0v7

Website: www.freemasha.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/freemasha

Transcription

Hi, Marsha. Welcome to the Healed and Cash Flowing Podcast show. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? Excited to be here. Thank you.

Me too. I've been looking forward to this for so long because we are local, which is amazing that we're in the same town. It's amazing. For those that don't know you, can you share how you got to your yield and Cash Flowing era?

Yeah. So I used to be a graphic designer in New York City for a good long time, like 20 years. We live in this Monday in worlds, live in this New York City lifestyle, having a lot of fun, but not realizing, actually, that I had quite a bit of trauma that was keeping me stuck. And in 2018, I had one heartbreak too many. So there was a good 10 years where I just kept having relationships not working out. And finally, there was somebody that I met that I could see something with. And after a few months, it just didn't work out. I didn't know why. And it led me on a journey inward. I call it a spiritual awakening that basically made me realize that I was the common denominator, and I went on a journey to heal my heart. And all of a sudden, this whole world of spirituality entered, and I just became a sponge and went down rabbit holes. Started healing with crystals, shamanic reiki, shamanism just started magnetizing towards me. And I started healing, but also learning different modalities with this desire to heal my family, heal myself. And eventually, at the beginning, I could see myself helping others with whatever it is that I was learning, even though at the time, I didn't really know how that was going to turn out.

And And after some years of journeying, quitting my 9: 00 to 5: 00, I landed. I realized that I wanted to help people, and I wanted to be a coach. So I did a health coach training with the Institute for Integrated Nutrition, which is a really great program. And I went on to discover somatic healing through this modality called Focalizing. And cacao, I I hold cacao ceremonies, cacao into my life. It asked me to share it with others. So I started doing ceremonies three years ago, and I just love bringing people together and sharing my gifts in these creative ways. So, yeah, the journey has been uncovering my gifts, deconditioning myself, learning who I really am, not who I was born to be or born into being. And, yeah, over the last few years, I started my healing business, and I've started working with people one-on-one in a group, and I just love it. I just discovered that I'm so much more than a graphic designer, which even in the beginning was a little bit of like, how do I... That transition period, How do I... Becoming confident in the knowing that I'm here to do something much greater than what I thought it was.

And I always had a bigger purpose. I always thought I had a bigger purpose, and I just I didn't know what it was. And it wasn't until my spiritual awakening that I uncovered this part of me that is here to help people. And I guess I'll just share that I also I'm a huge student, love learning. So astrology is a big part of my life, human design, embodiment. Recently, I got trained in family constellations, which is how we met. I do family constellations Cacahu workshops. It's one of my favorite things besides cacao ceremonies. And just realizing how much I love learning about people's families, family dynamics, really getting to the root of stuff with people, getting to those things that are in the way of living a soul-aligned life. And I just have this gift of helping people uncover what is in the way, what's in the way of what they want, the challenges in their life, seeing it as gifts, using it actually as digging for the gold in the shadows. It's like, Those are the things that I'm really interested in. Yeah.

That's amazing. Thank you so much for giving us the big view of everything that you have done. That is amazing. I was taking notes and just really celebrating you for going through the process that many of us have gone through and are going through, where that regular linear path of do what people tell you to do and do this job for 30 years, retire, die thing without getting to the meat and potatoes of life or really connecting with yourself. I was reading right before our podcast interview, I was reading one of your emails, and I was telling I had no idea that... I wanted to continue reading because the email was so good. But it was also giving me an insight why you and I connected so well, because I did not realize that you came here also as an immigrant and you had to learn the language and helping parents translate, which is like, I feel that because I had to do that. So did you grow up knowing about all these modalities? Is that something that you discover afterwards?

Definitely afterwards. I Yeah. My parents are chemists. They met in chemistry school in Moscow, and I call myself a chemical reaction. And yeah, we I was born in Russia. We came to the US when I was almost eight. And obviously, that was a very transformative experience for me as a kid. And it opened my eyes early on, even though moving to the US, all I did was try to I fit in, learn English, and then was focused on that, just trying to fit in, belonging, which is a really big theme of family constellations. And I'm a Russian Jew. So we grew up... Actually, I didn't know I was Jewish until I came here to the US, and I was learning English.

How is that possible? That you learned here because of your people that you're learning here?

In Russia, you weren't allowed Jewish. It was actually a nationality. It was a nationality, not a religion. It was marked that way in the passports and everything. The Jews in Russia were oppressed. Okay. Yeah. And there's lots of linear age of oppression for my family.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah. So then I wonder, what happened when you discovered that you were Jewish, then when you began to be racist in the Jewish religion?

Yeah. So I went to Hebrew school, had my bat mitzvah, but I did not resonate with it. I loved the rabbi at my school when I moved to New Jersey, but it was all history. I just didn't At one point, and this has been part of the path, actually, for me is... And plant medicine is also a big part of my path and has helped me uncover my gifts, also really step into who I am. But one thing I realized through that is that when I was 13, I stopped believing in God. I was like, Why would God want a world like this? And I was very much more scientific, believing in science, but more believing also in nature. I always connected with nature. I did mushrooms when I was 17, and it changed my worldview. I just always connected with nature. And I always said nature is my religion. And this was way before I even really knew what shamanism was, which to me, it is about that connection to the Earth and to the elements and who we really are.

Yeah, for sure. So when you're discovering all these modalities, what did that do to what you were raised to believe?

When I discovered the modalities, I was like a kid in the candy store. I was My eyes were just like, whoa, you know this? And then there's that. And I started with crystals healing myself. There's this one Shamanic Reiki practitioner that totally changed my life. I literally had just started healing my heart and came across this crystal shop in Brooklyn called Awaken, which is now in Port Dervis in upstate New York. And I remember just following my intuition, which at that time I didn't really know. I I had an intuition. And she did this shamanic reiki session on me where I zonced out. And when she woke me up, she's like, Wake up, pure soul. Wake up, pure soul. And I felt so seen for the first time in my life. I didn't really believe in souls. I literally had no completely different worldview of life yet before this. Then I started entering. I actually I learned about Akashic records and the astrology, and I started learning about the soul and the evolution of the soul and also the shift of consciousness that we're moving through. So I started learning a lot about that. And now the modalities to me are just so fascinating.

That's powerful. I love it.

So You discover, what many of us have discovered, that you find one modality and they have three cousins behind, and those three cousins have more cousins, and you just find more things that go together that help you. It's like more tools to do what you love doing. So you're doing all these amazing things. When you left graphic design, is that when you moved to upstate?

No. When I quit my job, my leap of faith was I went to Costa Rica, and I lived in a community called Pachamama. It's one of the oldest spiritual communities that I know of. I think it's, at this point, 25 years old that it's been around. And at that point, I've traveled all my life, and I've done a lot of solo traveling. I was very independent. But I had started to realize that, you know what? Maybe being a lone wolf isn't actually the answer. So I did a little search. Like, oh, Are there any communities in Latin America that I could go to? And so I found Pachamama. And so that was my leap of faith. I quit my job because I knew that that's where I was going to go. And this was January 2020, and I was going to go for three months. I did a work exchange there. So I worked, I think it was 20 hours or 25 hours a week at the shop, with the veggies and the fruits. Everything was refillable. So we had jars and just filling and refilling and cleaning. And My three-month trip there turned into six months living in Pachimama because of COVID.

So I was in the perfect place to get isolated. So having that... I was a Costa Rica, I ended up 10 months that year. So that was my time of... All I wanted was to have time to just read books and study the things that interested me and being around other spiritual people. But I still didn't really know what was next. And it wasn't until towards the end of that year that I realized what was missing was some training in being able to coach people or work with people one on one. So I was really into health at the time. I mean, I'm still into health. Part of my healing journey is I have Hashimodo, so it's the autoimmune of the thyroid. I've been healing. It's actually It's actually been a guiding light for me in learning to speak up, step into my power. I used to be very shy, very quiet, very small, and that's been also part of my growing is stepping into a leadership role, which I literally did not know I had in me. That's amazing. So the leap of faith, yeah.

Yeah, That's huge. Then you came back from Costa Rica and decided, I'm going to join your coaching program? Is that what you did?

Towards the end of my time in Costa Rica, I signed up for IIN, and I started training in that. And And came back to COVID New York. It was November 2020, and it was like, I went from this living my best life to crashing really hard, getting back into Brooklyn. I had a Brooklyn apartment at the time still. My roommate was a nurse in the ICU, so he isolated himself. It was just really a weird time to be in New York also. And a few months after that, I went through a little bit of a traumatic experience with a really good friend of mine that cut me out of her life. And I experienced a week of just not being able to sleep, just really experiencing this shock. And that led me to realize that I need some help, and talk therapy is not the answer. So I started searching for therapist with somatic experience or embodiment tools, and I couldn't find one. At the same time, I got an email from my now colleague and teacher and friend nick Warber, announcing this training called the Focalizing Practitioner Training, which was basically... It's a modality around somatic healing and practices

And I didn't even do it. I've never even had a focalizing session, and I signed up because it was like, this is it. I know I want to do this. So Yeah. So somatic healing entered my life while I was still training in the health coaching program. And now I actually co-teach this program. I ended up assisting for the last three years with the institute. And yeah, I freaking love it. I love it. It's so amazing to see. It changed my life, this training, embodiment. You do somatic work, too.

I do. It sounds like we came two way for for the same reason. I had done talk therapy for over five years on and off, and I don't want to say that it doesn't work. It works to a point. It's very slow for me anyway, now that I I've experienced other things that work much faster and are more effective. But I think it's a gay way to get more help. I think that a lot of people have been failed by therapy, and then they shut themselves down. Somatics, that's what I did. I was looking for something and I was introduced by someone via email, and I'm like, I need to learn this for myself. I think within one or two classes, I'm like, This is what I want to do. I just realized this somatics is just changes people's lives so quickly. We don't know. I love not so much the book, but just the title itself, The Body Keeps the Score. It just tells the whole entire story. The Body does keep, it remembers what has happened to us. So It's amazing how you can find where in the body it's stuck and then help people release it.

I know that you do that so very well. You have mentioned family constellations, which is how we met. For those that don't know what that is, can you give us the cliff notes down version of what that is?

Yeah. Family Constellations, it's a phénomological work. It was created by this German psychologist, Bert Hellinger. And he was actually captured as a... Okay, so I'm just trying to... I'm trying to say the story. He basically created family constellations through his experience, his journeying. It works with the collective consciousness. It's really hard to explain. I might actually pull up a sheet, if that's okay.

Yeah, for sure. I have found what you looked for that. I have found it... I don't know how I found it. I definitely heard about this show with my other your Other Self on Netflix. I found it probably right after the pandemic. I have only found it online, and I always knew that I wanted to do it in person because it was so life-changing. I I thought I was going to have to go to Latin America, to be honest. Then for it to come to my backyard, it's insane.

It's right here. I know. It's actually insane that I even... I became a facilitator of it. That's mind-blowing to me because early on, years ago, part of my awakening, I also... One of the things that helped me was going to different healing centers in Brooklyn and New York and just soaking in different modalities and workshops. And so I came across family constellations early on, and it just blew my mind. It's so cool. That's how I met nick, my friend and teacher. And So even when I was in Costa Rica and Pachimama, there was a constellator there, so I was able to do it a few times as well. It's just like, I'm obsessed. It's one of my favorite things.

I think your favorite, now that I have I've experienced several times with you, I cannot see you not doing it. Because it's so intuitive to you and you feel so at home that it will be a crime if you never did it. I was like, How did you do anything else?

Yeah. I'm still new with it. I just did the training last year, and it's very natural. When I do it, I feel like I disappear. And that's, I think, when you know that you're on the right track. It doesn't feel work at all. It's not work to me. It's a very creative process. And just to share a little bit here about it, it's basically a holistic healing modality that supports transformation through addressing what is unresolved in a person's family and ancestral lineage. It helps with mysterious and confusing dynamics, which become clearer when we see the full picture and acknowledge the history that preceded it. So basically, thank Things that happen to us, to our families, generations back, still affect us now, or can affect us now, depending on what happened. Because the system, the family system, wants to reconcile. It wants to bring wholeness to itself. And so when there's trauma in the past, it disorganizes the system, and it creates havoc. And so We are born into these roles that we did not even choose to be in in order for the system to find a way to reconcile itself for the family. And so when you're healing yourself through any modality, really, you're helping heal generations forward and generations back.

I think they say four generations forward, four generations back. And we are also born into these families with certain belief systems that we can't always see when we're in it. One of the beautiful things about family constellations is you get to step out and actually see what's at play here. And you don't have to even know what happened in the past because you can discover it through this family constellation's work. Things like war, war. Things like abortions, miscarriages. Let's say an ancestor, a great grandfather, wasn't allowed to be with the love of his life and was stuck in a loveless marriage marriage, that could be affecting somebody now. It's really interesting. And yeah, the full picture, it helps uncover and address these hidden loyalties or historical trauma in the family, these repetitive and confusing patterns of behavior, a sense of burden or guilt the client may be carrying and more. So we carry these burdens for our ancestors. And it Especially, it's the things that we're constantly dealing with and we're like, Why is this happening to me? Why do I keep doing this? It could very much be trapped energy in the system.

Yeah.

And so through consolation work, you can uncover these challenges and literally reorganize it and bring healing towards the system. And it's not just family. It's actually anything that has systems, you can bring it into this work. So companies can do consolation work. So there's Bosses are parents, employees are children, and there could be a total disorder in that whole world as well. And a lot of the things, there's a lot of, Basically, I don't want to call them... I almost want to call them secrets, but they're not. It's like there's these hidden ways that things happen. And I learned basically what could be happening here. And what happens in a constellation where it can be done in groups and one-on-one. There's different ways to do one-on-one. Everyone does them differently. I like using footsteps or papers on the floor. But the group work is like, I love it. This is where it's at. And what happens in group constellations, and I know you've been to it, and I'm really curious to hear from your experience of that. Basically, somebody volunteers an intention that they're dealing with, like a client. They choose to share whatever it is that they want help with.

And after a little bit of Q&A with this person, I would invite them to pick some representatives for their consolation. So maybe they're wondering about money. Maybe they're wondering wanting to have a better relationship with money. And so I would ask this person to, okay, Can you bring in somebody, choose somebody to represent your mother, and then they would choose somebody to represent the mother, choose somebody to represent money, they would choose somebody to represent money, and choose somebody to represent you. So all of a sudden, these three people come in to the center of the room, and they embody these energies. It doesn't have to be just people. People can represent things that are the unknown, the block. They can represent feelings, feelings, emotions, shame, countries, source, resources. So you can even bring in spiritual resources, God, if that's supportive to you, or ancestors that are healed before the trauma happened. That's also really helpful and resourceful to bring in. But basically, what happens is it's not acting, but when you come into the space, and I remember the first time I represented, I was so nervous. I was like, Am I just acting?

What's going to happen? But I remember as soon as I entered the field, as we call it entering the field, you just get overtaken by these sensations in emotions movements. And so there's movements that are invited throughout. And you basically see it play out in front of your eyes. You actually see what's between me and mom. What's between me and my significant other? Why are we? What's happening here? Or siblings. And then through certain movements and there's certain techniques within the constellation that help progress the constellation. But I always like to share that the constellation is going to do its thing. It It's almost like as a facilitator, it's a creative process. It's all experimental. I stand in a curious place. I ask questions, I inquire. But ultimately, the constellation is going to reveal its own answers.

I think it's interesting. As you were talking, now that I have experienced it numerous times, I can now see the correlation with somatics because it's almost It's almost like your ancestors or things that happened in the past are stuck, and through the constellation, they get unstuck. Because that thing gets unstuck, you get unstuck. That makes sense? I never even thought about it that Great, buddy.

Definitely. I wrote it in the email today. I was like, constellation work is basically a way to bring your inner insides outside. Whatever's happening inside, you can actually bring it out and have it play out I haven't done this yet, but I'm very interested in exploring internal family systems through constellation work because you can bring out your different parts. And somatics works really well within constellation. I got trained in constellations through nick Werber, who's, again, the focalizing teacher as well. And so we bring in this trauma-informed, embodied way of holding the space. So So asking people like, What are you noticing in your body while they're standing representing? Definitely. Our body holds not just our traumas from now, but also generational things and cultural things.

When you think about it, if we were already in our grandmother's womb, think about that. There's DNA from that, those two generations back, and now you're on your third generation. Just from that physiological perspective, it makes sense. One thing that I noticed because I done it for myself and then I was able to do it in a group, and just like you, I was really nervous because I'm like, The beauty is that you don't know the person. You don't know anybody there. It's not like you can pretend or you can be biased by what you know. You don't know the people there, which is, I think, incredible, and it helps because there's no bias. But then there's a knowing that comes over, and that's what I You are going to represent so and so, and then you go in into the imaginary circle, and you know exactly how to behave, what to do. There's a sense of reverence because you're like, Okay, I'm here to help this generation, to help these people. It's a beautiful thing to see when you see in their eyes or their face, they're like, That's it. Like, wow, that's what I was afraid of, or that's the thing that's been plaguing us for a long time.

Yeah. This work goes really deep. It's really deep, and it creates ripples. I like to share that not to really talk about it for a few weeks afterwards because it is in the field, it creates shifts. And I've heard people or even myself, years later, remember that consolation? And it shows up or months later It's just creates this ripple effect. There's so much more than just generational. It could also be when you're born, the birth story, or there's so many things at play. Yeah, your relationship with life is very much related to your relationship with your mother. Your relationship with money is very much related to your relationship with your mother as well as significant others. We get so much from our family, from our parents, especially, and they all have different themes. So a lot of addiction actually is connected to the father.

It makes sense. Yeah. It really makes sense in the middle of that. So I know that you and your partner have... Is this your first in-person retreat?

Our first in-person retreat. Yeah. We're so excited. It's happening in March, March 14th to 16th, and upstate New York, and Sogardy is at our friend's beautiful little cottage. It's going to be a very intimate experience. We love holding space. We love holding workshops. Usually, they're about two and a half hours, and a lot happens that time. So this is an extended version of that. We've been sharing cacao at different retreats over the last year, and it's been really cool to see how much that brings. So our retreat is called Constellations For Your Heart, and it includes cacao and family consolations and community. I mean, that happens obviously naturally when you go to a retreat, but for us, that's That's a big part of it because healing happens best when we're around other peopl

That's what it is. And people that are doing the work. I mean, it's beautiful when... And this space is magical. I mean, I knew Upstate was good. I remember at the beginning of last year, I was like, Okay, when am I going to move? I feel ready. I've been wanting to move for the longest time. And I was doing a somatic healing, and then the lady that was doing it, she's amazing. She was guiding me through it. She's like, You already the place that you want to go. You just have to remember. Then she just guided me through this beautiful process. Then I was like, Oh, my God, of course. It's Upstate, New York. I spent so much time there before, not on this side, but the other side, but still Upstate. So once it became clear, all the wheels were in motion. And that's because I was part of the healing community that I was able to do that somatic session with her. So I just think everything is interconnected. And unfortunately, I'm going to be traveling that weekend And so I'm going to miss it. But it's the first one. I know that it's going to be the first of many.

So I'm not too upset because now I'm making space for somebody else to experience this beautiful healing for the heart, which is so needed, especially now.

And you're going through your own little healing for the heart.

Oh, yes, I am. I have been very, very vocal and honest on the podcast. That's how this podcast show started me sharing how you and I have similar journeys where I was like, I keep saying I want to be in a relationship, but it's been all this time since I was married on a real relationship and something ended. I'm like, that was a great person, but still not my person. I had to own my part. I had to go. That's when I started my process, almost two years ago, where I'm like, I need to figure this out because I don't want to keep having these experiences. I want to have a different relationship. As you were talking, I was looking, I have it everywhere. I actually created my different type of vision board, and I have it everywhere because I'm serious about, Okay, this is what I want. I'm like, I'm going to be familiar with this and keep it everywhere because it's one thing to say you want something, but what steps are you taking to actually get that? It's been very healing to me to do all this work for myself and for others

Thank you for being part of that.

Yeah. But I also meant you're taking your mom on a trip, which is also- I am taking my mom.

Yes, that's going to be amazing. From where I'm from, it was not a great experience for me. I think it's going to be good to go back as I'm healing, continue to heal, and I see it from that perspective. I'm glad that I'm taking her. Now that I'm more vocal, now that I'm healer, that's the word, let's see what happens. Everything is a journey at this point. I'm ready for all of it.

That's awesome. Where were you living before? Where were you living before Upstate?

I was supposed to choose it forever for 25 years, something like that for a long time. The vibe is different. This area has everything. Within, I don't know, 15 minutes, you go any which way and you have all the resources, all the tools, all the people, all the cool people, I think, living here.

I love it. I'm so happy up here. I only moved up here a year and a half ago, and I didn't really answer your question, but I can share that when I finally did leave New York, my lease was over. I actually packed all my stuff into storage. I bought a car, and I was planning on traveling the country. I've always loved traveling, and that was my plan. I was going out of the Southwest. I got all these guidebooks. I was so excited. But then I just kept hitting closed doors. I just kept hitting. I was looking in Arizona, I was looking in New Mexico. I just couldn't find a place. And at that point, I was still at the beginning of my business. Creating a business has been a lifelong dream, I think. I have an Aries Midheaven, which is your career line, which is where you aspire to in your life's work. And with an Aries MCAP, you're meant to work for yourself. And for most of my life, I worked for someone else. So starting a business is part of my spiritual journey right now, spiritual growth. And so I wasn't in a place to go travel at that point.

I actually went back and lived with my family for a few months for the first time in 20 years.

Wow.

How was that? It was okay. Yeah, it was not terrible. Not great. My parents had this dog, Penny, that just was the best thing ever. Oh, good. Yeah. My family and I, there's a lot of love there. Okay, good. So it was good in a sense. It makes sense. But that's when I stayed. That's when Cacao came into my life. That's when Cacao told me to, Hey, share me with others. That's when I doing cacao ceremonies. Through that, I met my partner Tiger, who we've been together now almost three years, and that wouldn't have happened had I kept- Not listened. Not listened, exactly. And so when we met, we were... So I was a little bit nomadic for a little while. Before I moved back to my parents, I stayed in upstate in a couple of different places, like Port Jervis or Glentz Bay and Clarriville. I was exploring upstate, trying to see where I wanted to land. We lived in NIAAC for a little bit before moving up here to Catsgill, which is...

We're in Catsgill. Nice. Yeah, it was funny because I was going to ask the next question. So how amazing that because you were unobligent to what was your next step, you were able to meet someone that is so complementary to the stuff that you do. It's like you cannot even order this in any store, I don't think.

Yeah. I can totally relate to you in the search for love because I definitely wanted that, but I just kept having these relationships that just weren't it. It didn't work out. I knew, though, I knew. I had to believe that one day it would find him. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And it was this magical story where he knew from the moment he saw me that I was the one. And in relationships, I'm learning a lot about them now. There's a lot of healing that happens.

It's a lot of healing, even with the right person, even with the one, if we believe in that. And I just love... It's funny how... I don't know how it was for you, but I was not bad relationships, but not great relationships. I always knew it was not it. Now, I'm like, And now we're in a place where I need to know that I need to know. I need to know and to know that feeling that annoying. Not that everything's going to be perfect hunky dory, and we're going to sing compayar together, but that we're going to continue our growth process together. I think it takes some bravery in honesty with yourself and others when you say you're great. However, this is not what I'm looking for. My mom asked me the other day. It was such an honest moment for me. She was like, Oh, have you met anybody over there? And I'm like, Oh, Mom, I'm not into that. I have no time. Then I stay quiet. I'm like, What a freaking lie. That's not true. So I corrected myself. I said, Mom, actually, and it was such a grown-up moment for me, I haven't met anyone worth me being in a relationship with.

And that, I was so proud of myself. I was like, Oh, my God, that's so true. And it's I was not defending myself. I was not explaining. I was just saying the truth is I do want to be in a relationship. At the same time, I haven't met someone that I'm going to say, I'm going to give this up. Being by myself, I know you took a lot of solo trips. I enjoy my company immensely. Me and myself, we have a great time. If I'm going to stop having all that time to myself, it has to be for the right thing that's going to be great for me and for them. I'm glad that you are in that amazing place where you continue to grow with a person that is doing the work and that you guys get to work together, which I'm sure it's amazing in its own way.

Yeah, definitely a lot of soul growth and relationships.

Yeah. And just experiencing you guys. How has it been you guys doing family constellations together? Because I really can see how you guys have different styles and enhance each other. You just complement each other so Yeah, it's super fun.

I think we're learning as we go. It's cool because I love representing, too. When he gets to facilitate, then I get to be representative if somebody wants me and vice versa. I'm really into astrology, and I'm actually becoming more and more of an astrologer. But we both have planet And it's in the fourth house, which is the home and family and ancestors that really connect us to this work, I think. We're really meant to be doing it. So, yeah, it feels really good. It feels really good to learn from each other as well. To be able to do it together, it's definitely- It's a gift.

It's a gift for us to get to see it. We're glad. We're so glad. You're going to have to let us know how the retreat goes. We'll make sure to put the link and all the information in the blog post that companies this episode because I think I would like to see what the feedback is, and for you and for them. And I know it's going to be an amazing success just because the work is beautiful.

Thank you. We do monthly cacaharmonies, monthly family constellation workshops upstate. Usually at Moonlight in Red Hook. You've been there. And I do Moon circles, too. Not with Tiger, but with my friend Jess. People can go to my website and see what's next.

Great. We'll make sure to put all that in the blog call. Where do you hang out the most on Which is your media platform? It's your jam, if at all.

It's Instagram and my newsletter.

Yeah, which is so good. We'll make sure to put a link to it because the emails are so readable. I don't know if that makes sense, but they're not stuffy. It's just like you just invite you to keep reading, which I have been cleaning up my inbox tremendously. So your emails are still coming, so you make the cut.

I'm glad. Thank you. It's my place of creative exploration right now, the writing. So thank you. I'm glad.

Yeah, you're very welcome. You're very welcome. Thank you so much for sharing this amazing time with us and for sharing your own journey. We have so many people that are in the process. So here from someone being so vulnerable and open about where you started, where you are today, it's very helpful. So I'm just very grateful.

Cool. So thank you so much for having me.

Oh, my God. Our pleasure for sure. Thank you so much. There you have it, guys. It's been incredible to have this great conversation with someone that I have so much in common with. I wanted to have this conversation with Masha because I believe in the work that she's doing. I, consuming myself is helping me tremendously in this journey that you guys have been following. I highly encourage you to check out her website, check out her things. At the same time, I encourage you to look inwards and make yourself a priority because when you are called to do great work, and I believe all of us are called to do great work in different ways, it is our responsibility to be healed first so we can heal others at the same time. Thanks so much for watching. Please know that I love you, that I'm waiting for you, and I'm going to see you super, super, super soon.