My sister had an epiphany the other day ‘I am not a hot person’ she said to me while we sat at the beach watching our daughters play. I thought ‘I could have told you that’. For years she has fought me when I have tried to tell her what to buy and what to wear. Don’t get me wrong, my sister is attractive but sometimes she has fallen prisoner to the idea of “looking hot”, which is not her style at all. She is more the girl next door than a jet-setter and that is okay, but sometimes she forgets.
I think my relentless talk about confidence having a direct correlation to comfort have finally paid off. The other day she wore a beautiful knee length green cotton dress, moderate make-up, and modest and comfortable shoes. She looked great, got ready for an event quickly and felt like herself instead of the uncomfortable but hot version of the person she thought she had to be.
That evening she told me how many compliments she had gotten throughout the day, “even though I did not look hot” she said, to what I replied: “of course they complimented you, you were comfortable, therefore you felt confident”.
Unfortunately many women like my sister feel forced to fit a mold that is not their own, and that is why many of them feel the need to ‘reinvent’ themselves every few months. Every time they think they have figured out who to copy or who to emulate, it does not last. Instead of trying to follow the norm, I suggest you spend some time figuring out what you are attracted to when shopping. Look around and see which women you identify with. You might still need help putting the whole look together but at least you will have a better idea of what your comfort level is and how to make it your own.
Dress like the inner you, it looks good on you.
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